We crossed all England in a day
Hitchin lifts along the way.
On arrival at the docks in France
We knew we didn’t have a chance.
‘Gettin to Paris is gonna be easy
With only twenty quid, believe me!’
The trucks ain’t movin and neither are we,
We’re stuck in this dive next to the sea.
For fuck’s sake, it’s for charity!
Look at my t-shirt, drivers- look at me!
We’re desperate to get to the Eiffel Tower
But really us English don’t have the power.
The French wave their arms and shrug their shoulders-
They don’t give a shit and nobody told us!
Our cardboard signs are getting droopy,
I’m so damn tired I’m goin loopy,
Find me some beer and a place to sleep,
At least this trip has been pretty cheap.
Be thankful for mercies, however small.
Now there’s the problem, convincing us all
To keep thinking positive and not give in,
Persuade each other that we could still win.
But we know that’s crap as we sit in the cold,
Something we’ll laugh at (a lot) when we’re old.
I’m sick of the sight of Calais, my friend-
Only Scott Adams knows when this will end.
Face it guys, we’re staying here.
Don’t all rush at once to cheer.
We left our luck in the back of a truck,
And frankly now I don’t give a fuck.

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